I know it's been years but I am so sorry for the way the medis felt they had to attack you guys- any time, but especially in such a painful and vulnerable time in your life.... Having thankfully never lived a public life, I don't know how it feels from your side but when I read things about people and either KNOW, or even just think, it's not true I get so mad. I will say it again- everybody should be entitled to privacy!!
And to just make stuff up is awful. I don't do much because I'm only one person, but having social media in my life (I don't know how long Myspace or Facebook existed before I joined in high school, but it wasn't that long I don't think) I do follow authors(nees to know when new books are coming out!!), comedians, singers and muscians, actors, and a few individuals from an old reality show I'm kinda familiar with-- your Facebook is one I follow-- for what people are WILLING to share, no matter what it is. I read biographies for the same reason. I'm curious about people and what they've gone through-- I know some people get angry at what is shared and I feel that's ridiculous too. Nobody has to share their life. I appreciate every autobiography I have ever read and don't expect them to tell me anything about themselves.
We live in such an entitled world and it makes me sick. Lies, cameras in people's faces... I've taken pictures of myself that weren't great angles or my 4 year old daughrer who loves taking pictures (she's really good at times. Others get deleted) gets a not so great photo and you throw any tag line you could want for a rag and share it with millions. It's not real!
Let people just live!! Instead of hurting people, let's build up this world. Be respectful. I'm sure there are stories out there if people did it the right way. I might be more inclined to pick up a magazine in the check out if I knew it wasn't full of outright lies and twisted truths.
I'm sorry- hearing the way they hurt you and Steve and your children I'm sure, burns my biscuits!! This is a hot button subject that my husband constantly has to tell me doesn't concern me 🤣 It's not my fight, I can't fix it, but I really wish I could. Or buy an island somewhere and allow everybody who the world knows your name to move out there, for anybody who would want to, and never let anybody else know it exists!! But since I can't, I just rant and rave over a problem I can't fix. But I never believe or listen to those trash magazines. If I don't hear it from the person it's about, I don't give it any extra thought.
I don't know you well enough to know if that's sarcasm or not 🤣 but even though you, and everybody else in the public eye, can defend yourselves, I'll always be in your corner ready to defend! 🤣🙂🙂
It feels like this might have been cathartic for you to write, to finally have your say, so to speak. A few things stood out.
The line about only losing 7 pounds - It breaks my heart to read that you were still focused on that. I know from your writings, this has been something that has weighed on you your whole life and I’m just so sorry you’ve had to endure feeling like this even after something like Survivor. I have a metabolic/hormonal condition that makes it hard to lose weight, so I understand as much as I can. I always tell my daughter that we don’t comment on people’s bodies, so I want to own up to this belief, yet at the same time, I am just constantly blown away by the commentary, because truly, you have always looked so healthy and beautiful! And your body was strong enough for Survivor! I wish you could have celebrated your physical strength in that moment.
Also, parasites?! Oh, my gosh. What did you have to do? And I’m guessing the crying was you finally allowing yourself to cry over…everything.
I know you must know this, but you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your divorce or any details that you don’t want to share. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have so many people assume things about you, assume the worst of you even, and critique it. I don’t handle that well on even a smaller level. Funny to think my childhood dream was to be a famous actress - maybe the universe knew I couldn’t handle it! I’m only sorry you didn’t have what you needed in your marriage for so long and am always glad to hear that you were able to find someone who fulfills you. We all need that.
And we also all have a dark side. Have you ever seen the “Inside Out” movies? I feel like they do an amazing job of showing the importance of all of the emotions/sides. We need them all, we need all our sides, or we become unbalanced. “Inside Out 2” really hit me hard - I cried watching it during the panic attack scene, because that is my life. And just what it’s like to be so unbalanced. I know it’s maybe weird to recommend animated movies as an adult (I have a 4 year old! Haha) but I’d recommend them. Maybe your grand kiddos would love them, too. ❤️
Sending you kindness and, if I may, digital hugs. ❤️ One other thing I’ve consistently picked up on is just how hard you are on yourself. I’m the same way towards myself. May we show ourselves the same grace we undoubtedly show others. Easier said than done.
I had another thought after I stepped away from your post. I guess I’m going to be the girl recommending songs, movies, etc. But art has been what’s kept me going most of the time - I’m going to guess that’s true of you, too, in some ways, since you’re an actress and a writer and, I think, an INFJ like me? You must also realize that I’m strongly a 4. Haha. Anyway, long story long, there is a song by Florence + the Machine, one of my favorite singers. It’s called “Third Eye” and in it she sings, “You are flesh and blood. You deserve to be loved and you deserve what you are given.” And that sentence and song has helped me a lot. I hope you’ve come to see it about yourself, too, through your many adventures and journey.❤️
How funny that people criticized and wrote horrible stuff about you on Survivor. I watched you on The Facts of Life and thought you would be like that character in real life but when I saw you on Survivor, I first thought, she looks good, and then I was impressed with your strength and that you lasted all the way through. You should be proud!
I just recently watched your season of Survivor for the first time and it’s the reason why I’ve subscribed; I was filled with such admiration. As someone who has also experienced a long and complicated faith and identity journey, I was fascinated by how you evolved through the game. I thought you handled yourself with grace and integrity throughout in a way I’ve not seen on the show. Plus you are so damn intelligent. I would have voted for you.
I guess my time was when I got divorced in 2017. I knew that I could not go back to that life and really needed a change of scenery. Instead of staying in St. Louis, I moved back home with my mom. We have our good days and bad days, but found that she needed someone to help with her needs. I knew that I could do that. But during this time I went to school and got a job. I loved the post today Lisa and thank you for sharing your heart. Blessings and keep smiling from Bolivar Missouri 💐.
I also ended up in the enquirer after Survivor. I remember standing in line at the grocery store and looking over at the magazine and it read “Dana’s drug hell”. That was a story I only told Jeff and Mark during the first interviews. I was 20yrs old when all of that happened. And here I was years later reading it in a magazine standing in line with others realizing it was me I was reading about. So embarrassing. That’s when I fully realized that there’s nothing about being in the public eye that suits me. I’m just fine living on my homestead curating a perfect quiet life with my person.
Just curious- when you finally made your decision to divorce Steve, how did he feel about it? Did he try to convince you to stay? Or did he accept its inevitability?
What strikes me most is that after the horrible experience you had with tabloids and social media, that you had the courage (foolishness?) :) to jump back in and start this blog, but we’re so glad you did, and even happier that this time it seems to be a very positive experience.
As you have said before, there were many positive things that came from your time with Steve, but it’s still so heartbreaking to read. You seem like such a compassionate people-person that it’s hard to imagine going through life being constrained by such a lack of physical closeness. Continued best wishes in your new phase.
Well, it has been almost 15 years so i wouldn't say I jumped right back in. It has taken me a long time. And, also, Steve is a wonderful man who was kind and safe and maybe that is what I needed most at that time.
I remind myself often that we are promised that all things work for our good. I may have all sorts of issues with organized religion, but I hold on to that promise.
Thank you Lisa for sharing all your story. You didn't deserve any of the awful things the media did to you and your family. Please know you have many fans out there who just love you for who you are. Thank you also for sharing about Survivor and about the behind the scenes information. As a huge fan of the show for 25 years its fun to learn this stuff. I had no idea about the parasites and psychological impact...we all just think , yeah it is a hard game but then its over. Thanks again.
Losing my best friend in April. I know this is a little off topic Lisa, but after reading this article I discovered something else that you and I have in common besides our birthdays, we both love Sonic ice
It sounds like you went into the wilderness and discovered what Rachel Held Evans called “Whole Hearted Faith.” Thank you for sharing this part of your story with us. It isn’t easy to be honest and vulnerable no matter who you are.
You asked in the comments if we were ever afraid to go back to a life we had, or if we were not sure where we were going.... and I know this may not be in the same vein, but when I got divorced I was in that place. My ex-wife had kept a big secret, my mother had died the year before and I was in a place where I just felt alone. I didn't know where to turn and where to go.
I was living in Alabama, and don't get me wrong, I loved that job, and I have so many ties to that state I created, but it wasn't family and it wasn't "home" or home as I knew it. So, I left all, and went back to the land of my birth. Wisconsin in wintertime is brutal, depressing, on top of cold.
I did get my current wife, and for that it was an uptake. But when you leave a bad situation not knowing where you're going, sometimes that leap of faith is a lot.
And as we deal with more loss, we may take another leap. We found a house by the only family we have left - and it's time. It's going to take another move - this time just across Florida, and we're ready. Hopefully this one won't just be blind!
I am there. My life has been picked up and dumped out in the past year and I feel like I am laying on the ground after being dumped out. I am laying there and trying to figure out how to get up and after I get up, then what do I do. I just turned 60 and I am in a place I never thought I would be at this age. I am not sure if the life I had can be recovered and if not what happens from here. I consider myself a positive person but then sometimes I ask myself, is it being positive or just not wanting to face the facts sometimes and not wanting to make some hard decisions. My positive persona covers over the need to ask the hard questions and the strength to say things need to change.
Thanks for being so open and honest. I really appreciate it. It is making me think about things in a different way!!
Oh my goodness, i sure do recognize this place you describe. I follow a young teacher, Cory Muscara, on Instagram. The following was in my feed this morning. I thought of you when I read it:
"Sometimes, the decision you know you need to make is the one that terrifies you the most.
That doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
It just means you’re following a deeper intuitive knowing that requires a level of surrender you’re not yet used to.
Our soul’s intuition doesn’t always match our mind’s preferences.
This is one way you know there’s a deeper guidance at play.
If it were up to our mind, we would pick the path that “makes sense.”
And yet, something tells us it’s still not right. Stay with the whispers.
Holding out for a life that is great doesn’t mean that you’re trying to optimize all of your ego’s preferences.
It means that you’re unwilling to settle for anything that doesn’t feel aligned.
It’s your commitment to not abandon your soul’s compass in service of other people’s ideas, or even your mind’s ideas, for how to live your life.
The Soul Voice:
• Has a light, clear, and spacious quality
• Feels expansive, not contracted
• Drops you into stillness
• Feels irreducible
• Is not forced
But it can still activate your ego’s needs for control. And that’s why you feel fear."
I know it's been years but I am so sorry for the way the medis felt they had to attack you guys- any time, but especially in such a painful and vulnerable time in your life.... Having thankfully never lived a public life, I don't know how it feels from your side but when I read things about people and either KNOW, or even just think, it's not true I get so mad. I will say it again- everybody should be entitled to privacy!!
And to just make stuff up is awful. I don't do much because I'm only one person, but having social media in my life (I don't know how long Myspace or Facebook existed before I joined in high school, but it wasn't that long I don't think) I do follow authors(nees to know when new books are coming out!!), comedians, singers and muscians, actors, and a few individuals from an old reality show I'm kinda familiar with-- your Facebook is one I follow-- for what people are WILLING to share, no matter what it is. I read biographies for the same reason. I'm curious about people and what they've gone through-- I know some people get angry at what is shared and I feel that's ridiculous too. Nobody has to share their life. I appreciate every autobiography I have ever read and don't expect them to tell me anything about themselves.
We live in such an entitled world and it makes me sick. Lies, cameras in people's faces... I've taken pictures of myself that weren't great angles or my 4 year old daughrer who loves taking pictures (she's really good at times. Others get deleted) gets a not so great photo and you throw any tag line you could want for a rag and share it with millions. It's not real!
Let people just live!! Instead of hurting people, let's build up this world. Be respectful. I'm sure there are stories out there if people did it the right way. I might be more inclined to pick up a magazine in the check out if I knew it wasn't full of outright lies and twisted truths.
I'm sorry- hearing the way they hurt you and Steve and your children I'm sure, burns my biscuits!! This is a hot button subject that my husband constantly has to tell me doesn't concern me 🤣 It's not my fight, I can't fix it, but I really wish I could. Or buy an island somewhere and allow everybody who the world knows your name to move out there, for anybody who would want to, and never let anybody else know it exists!! But since I can't, I just rant and rave over a problem I can't fix. But I never believe or listen to those trash magazines. If I don't hear it from the person it's about, I don't give it any extra thought.
Sorry for everybody who read my rant.
"Burns my biscuits!" I love it. Thanks for ranting on my behalf. I feel loved.
I don't know you well enough to know if that's sarcasm or not 🤣 but even though you, and everybody else in the public eye, can defend yourselves, I'll always be in your corner ready to defend! 🤣🙂🙂
Carol Burnet once sued the Enquirer. She was successful, if I remember correctly. I wish more people do this.
Sonic's ice is the best💙
It feels like this might have been cathartic for you to write, to finally have your say, so to speak. A few things stood out.
The line about only losing 7 pounds - It breaks my heart to read that you were still focused on that. I know from your writings, this has been something that has weighed on you your whole life and I’m just so sorry you’ve had to endure feeling like this even after something like Survivor. I have a metabolic/hormonal condition that makes it hard to lose weight, so I understand as much as I can. I always tell my daughter that we don’t comment on people’s bodies, so I want to own up to this belief, yet at the same time, I am just constantly blown away by the commentary, because truly, you have always looked so healthy and beautiful! And your body was strong enough for Survivor! I wish you could have celebrated your physical strength in that moment.
Also, parasites?! Oh, my gosh. What did you have to do? And I’m guessing the crying was you finally allowing yourself to cry over…everything.
I know you must know this, but you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your divorce or any details that you don’t want to share. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have so many people assume things about you, assume the worst of you even, and critique it. I don’t handle that well on even a smaller level. Funny to think my childhood dream was to be a famous actress - maybe the universe knew I couldn’t handle it! I’m only sorry you didn’t have what you needed in your marriage for so long and am always glad to hear that you were able to find someone who fulfills you. We all need that.
And we also all have a dark side. Have you ever seen the “Inside Out” movies? I feel like they do an amazing job of showing the importance of all of the emotions/sides. We need them all, we need all our sides, or we become unbalanced. “Inside Out 2” really hit me hard - I cried watching it during the panic attack scene, because that is my life. And just what it’s like to be so unbalanced. I know it’s maybe weird to recommend animated movies as an adult (I have a 4 year old! Haha) but I’d recommend them. Maybe your grand kiddos would love them, too. ❤️
Sending you kindness and, if I may, digital hugs. ❤️ One other thing I’ve consistently picked up on is just how hard you are on yourself. I’m the same way towards myself. May we show ourselves the same grace we undoubtedly show others. Easier said than done.
Thanks for your compassion and care. And, yes, the Inside Out movies are masterful!
I had another thought after I stepped away from your post. I guess I’m going to be the girl recommending songs, movies, etc. But art has been what’s kept me going most of the time - I’m going to guess that’s true of you, too, in some ways, since you’re an actress and a writer and, I think, an INFJ like me? You must also realize that I’m strongly a 4. Haha. Anyway, long story long, there is a song by Florence + the Machine, one of my favorite singers. It’s called “Third Eye” and in it she sings, “You are flesh and blood. You deserve to be loved and you deserve what you are given.” And that sentence and song has helped me a lot. I hope you’ve come to see it about yourself, too, through your many adventures and journey.❤️
How funny that people criticized and wrote horrible stuff about you on Survivor. I watched you on The Facts of Life and thought you would be like that character in real life but when I saw you on Survivor, I first thought, she looks good, and then I was impressed with your strength and that you lasted all the way through. You should be proud!
Thanks! 😊
I just recently watched your season of Survivor for the first time and it’s the reason why I’ve subscribed; I was filled with such admiration. As someone who has also experienced a long and complicated faith and identity journey, I was fascinated by how you evolved through the game. I thought you handled yourself with grace and integrity throughout in a way I’ve not seen on the show. Plus you are so damn intelligent. I would have voted for you.
Ah, thanks. I'm so glad you joined us here!
I guess my time was when I got divorced in 2017. I knew that I could not go back to that life and really needed a change of scenery. Instead of staying in St. Louis, I moved back home with my mom. We have our good days and bad days, but found that she needed someone to help with her needs. I knew that I could do that. But during this time I went to school and got a job. I loved the post today Lisa and thank you for sharing your heart. Blessings and keep smiling from Bolivar Missouri 💐.
My mom moved in with her mom during her later years and says she is so glad she did. She has no regrets.
We have definitely had fun.
My mom and I live together and it’s wonderful!
Awesome. My mom is 89 years young. And on only one prescription.
Absolutely! Let me know how it goes
Will do. Thank you.
Mine is almost 88 and is on a couple of meds. She’s completely independent. It just works out great for us
Oh my is. Mine still wants to get out and do. She is going in the 16th for taver surgery. Has a blockage in her aorta. Please pray for her.
I also ended up in the enquirer after Survivor. I remember standing in line at the grocery store and looking over at the magazine and it read “Dana’s drug hell”. That was a story I only told Jeff and Mark during the first interviews. I was 20yrs old when all of that happened. And here I was years later reading it in a magazine standing in line with others realizing it was me I was reading about. So embarrassing. That’s when I fully realized that there’s nothing about being in the public eye that suits me. I’m just fine living on my homestead curating a perfect quiet life with my person.
Thank you. Girl it’s the absolute best! I wouldn’t trade it for nothing.
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this, Dana. So wrong! Your homestead life sounds very alluring!
Just curious- when you finally made your decision to divorce Steve, how did he feel about it? Did he try to convince you to stay? Or did he accept its inevitability?
I've committed not to speak for Steve. I hope you understand.
I do. Thanks for your integrity!
What strikes me most is that after the horrible experience you had with tabloids and social media, that you had the courage (foolishness?) :) to jump back in and start this blog, but we’re so glad you did, and even happier that this time it seems to be a very positive experience.
As you have said before, there were many positive things that came from your time with Steve, but it’s still so heartbreaking to read. You seem like such a compassionate people-person that it’s hard to imagine going through life being constrained by such a lack of physical closeness. Continued best wishes in your new phase.
Well, it has been almost 15 years so i wouldn't say I jumped right back in. It has taken me a long time. And, also, Steve is a wonderful man who was kind and safe and maybe that is what I needed most at that time.
I remind myself often that we are promised that all things work for our good. I may have all sorts of issues with organized religion, but I hold on to that promise.
I listened to you recently on Rob Has a Podcast and admired your survivor game even more!
Thanks. That was a fun podcast.
Thank you Lisa for sharing all your story. You didn't deserve any of the awful things the media did to you and your family. Please know you have many fans out there who just love you for who you are. Thank you also for sharing about Survivor and about the behind the scenes information. As a huge fan of the show for 25 years its fun to learn this stuff. I had no idea about the parasites and psychological impact...we all just think , yeah it is a hard game but then its over. Thanks again.
Thanks for sharing, Michelle. 🥰
Losing my best friend in April. I know this is a little off topic Lisa, but after reading this article I discovered something else that you and I have in common besides our birthdays, we both love Sonic ice
Yes, Sonic ice is the best!!
I also need prayers for my brother, he is having laser surgery on his prostate on July 6th
It sounds like you went into the wilderness and discovered what Rachel Held Evans called “Whole Hearted Faith.” Thank you for sharing this part of your story with us. It isn’t easy to be honest and vulnerable no matter who you are.
That is such a beautiful phrase. And, yes.
Hi Lisa...
You asked in the comments if we were ever afraid to go back to a life we had, or if we were not sure where we were going.... and I know this may not be in the same vein, but when I got divorced I was in that place. My ex-wife had kept a big secret, my mother had died the year before and I was in a place where I just felt alone. I didn't know where to turn and where to go.
I was living in Alabama, and don't get me wrong, I loved that job, and I have so many ties to that state I created, but it wasn't family and it wasn't "home" or home as I knew it. So, I left all, and went back to the land of my birth. Wisconsin in wintertime is brutal, depressing, on top of cold.
I did get my current wife, and for that it was an uptake. But when you leave a bad situation not knowing where you're going, sometimes that leap of faith is a lot.
And as we deal with more loss, we may take another leap. We found a house by the only family we have left - and it's time. It's going to take another move - this time just across Florida, and we're ready. Hopefully this one won't just be blind!
You have a great day!
Aaron
Thanks for sharing this, Aaron. You're right, leaps of faith are typically A LOT! I'm glad your's resulted in you meeting your wife.
It doesn t matter if you only lost 7pounds you re beautyful anyway
Thanks 😍
I am there. My life has been picked up and dumped out in the past year and I feel like I am laying on the ground after being dumped out. I am laying there and trying to figure out how to get up and after I get up, then what do I do. I just turned 60 and I am in a place I never thought I would be at this age. I am not sure if the life I had can be recovered and if not what happens from here. I consider myself a positive person but then sometimes I ask myself, is it being positive or just not wanting to face the facts sometimes and not wanting to make some hard decisions. My positive persona covers over the need to ask the hard questions and the strength to say things need to change.
Thanks for being so open and honest. I really appreciate it. It is making me think about things in a different way!!
Oh my goodness, i sure do recognize this place you describe. I follow a young teacher, Cory Muscara, on Instagram. The following was in my feed this morning. I thought of you when I read it:
"Sometimes, the decision you know you need to make is the one that terrifies you the most.
That doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
It just means you’re following a deeper intuitive knowing that requires a level of surrender you’re not yet used to.
Our soul’s intuition doesn’t always match our mind’s preferences.
This is one way you know there’s a deeper guidance at play.
If it were up to our mind, we would pick the path that “makes sense.”
And yet, something tells us it’s still not right. Stay with the whispers.
Holding out for a life that is great doesn’t mean that you’re trying to optimize all of your ego’s preferences.
It means that you’re unwilling to settle for anything that doesn’t feel aligned.
It’s your commitment to not abandon your soul’s compass in service of other people’s ideas, or even your mind’s ideas, for how to live your life.
The Soul Voice:
• Has a light, clear, and spacious quality
• Feels expansive, not contracted
• Drops you into stillness
• Feels irreducible
• Is not forced
But it can still activate your ego’s needs for control. And that’s why you feel fear."